We often see school leaders focus on parent engagement metrics: attendance at school events, reduction in parent complaints and PTA membership numbers. But what if we're measuring the wrong things? What if the key to achieving your school’s institutional goals lies not in how many parents aren't complaining, but in how deeply they feel they belong?
The Traditional Approach: Measuring Engagement
Typically, schools measure success through institutional metrics:
- Number of parent complaints
- Parent satisfaction scores
- New family enrolment rates
- Parent volunteer hours
- Fundraising totals
- Parent attendance at school events
- PTA participation rates
While these metrics definitely matter, they are symptoms, not causes, of a thriving school community.
Understanding What Parents Really Want
Our research reveals that parents have fundamentally different goals of what they hope to get from their school community:
- Solving the basic challenge of connecting with other families at the school
- Building meaningful relationships for themselves and their children
- Developing a sense of influence within their child's educational environment
- Growing professionally through community involvement
- Most crucially, feeling like they matter - truly belong - in the school community
The Belonging Breakthrough
When we shift our focus from institutional metrics to these personal parent needs, something remarkable happens. Schools that prioritise parent belonging consistently report:
- Naturally higher event attendance - parents come because they want to, not because they should
- More authentic parent involvement - driven by genuine connection rather than obligation
- Stronger parent advocacy - satisfied parents naturally become school advocates
- Improved teacher retention - a supportive parent community creates a better working environment for staff
- Better inspection outcomes - authentic community engagement shines through
What Does Belonging Look Like?
True belonging manifests in several ways:
- Parents who chat naturally at the school gate, not standing in isolated groups
- Spontaneous parent meetups outside school events
- Cross-cultural and cross-year-group friendships based around common interests and passions
- Parents who feel confident approaching teachers and school leadership
- Natural mentoring between experienced and new parents
Creating Structures That Support Belonging
To foster belonging, consider:
- Appoint a Community Champion
- Select a senior leader who understands community building
- Give them real authority to make decisions
- Ensure they have regular contact with parent groups
- Rethink Parent Events
- Focus on connection opportunities, not just information delivery
- Create spaces for natural conversation
- Mix formal and informal gatherings
- Start small and intimate before inviting parents to attend a bigger event
- Support Parent Leaders
- Regular one-to-one meetings between SLT and PTA chairs. SLT Champion should operate in coaching mode not director mode
- Trust your parents' judgment while providing gentle guidance
The Counterintuitive Truth
Here's what we've learned: when schools focus primarily on what parents want - genuine connection and belonging - they naturally achieve their institutional goals. It's counterintuitive but proven:
- Parents who feel they belong complain less
- Connected parents become natural ambassadors for new families
- Engaged communities attract and retain great teachers
- Strong parent communities feature positively in inspection reports
Practical Steps for School Leaders
- Audit Your Current Approach
- Are you measuring engagement or belonging?
- Do your parent events facilitate connection between community members?
- How visible is your parent community on school platforms? In your communications and values?
- Invest in Community Infrastructure
- Dedicated, safe community spaces (physical and digital)
- Regular connection opportunities with like minded community members
- Clear pathways for parent involvement
- Shift Your Metrics
- Track cross-group connections
- Monitor community growth patterns
- Measure sustained involvement over time (we call it the parent commitment curve)
The Leadership Challenge
The challenge for school leaders is to resist the urge to ‘manage’ parent engagement and instead nurture parent belonging. This means:
- Trusting the process
- Measuring different outcomes
- Taking a longer-term view
- Investing in community infrastructure
Remember: Strong parent communities don't emerge from top-down engagement initiatives but from genuine connections fostered by an environment where every parent feels they truly belong.